I’m not quite sure how to start this letter. Words barely do justice to the immensity of my emotions. Regardless, I am going to do my best to create words that form sentences to bring to light my deepest gratitude for what you have given me. So, “co-worker,” here it goes.
You probably think I like you. You probably think we’re friends because I make “your mom” & “that’s what she said” jokes at your expense. You probably think I don’t pay much attention to every time you leave the strawberry lemonade empty. You probably don’t think I know about the time you “called in sick” and proceeded to post pictures of you, by yourself, at the pool on Facebook. Just so you know, I had plans that night but got to close instead because you wanted to take pictures of your fat ass half naked (probably because no one else wants to). You probably think that extra ten minutes you take every break goes unnoticed. You think I haven’t figured out your section is the one left dirty and side work left undone that I keep having to stay later to clean. You probably think because I listen to you complain I care about you. You probably think I have not noticed the air that passes through the holes on either side of your head or your constant excuse-making for completing a designated task. You probably think I haven’t noticed your general laziness.
I noticed. I noticed all of it. You probably figured I would be angrier, or you’re at least wondering why I didn’t show it. You could probably accuse me of being two-faced for making you believe I did not notice all those things. But if I had told you that I noticed these things I would not have all the things I have now. I would not have been forced to stay longer for you. I would not have been forced to take your better shifts. I would not have been forced to make all the money I do. I would not have been forced to gain all the trust with our employers that I have. I would not have been able to request all the time that I have. I would not have been granted all my time off that I requested, due to the good relationship with our managers based on my willingness to be flexible and reliable in your absence. I would not have been able to afford the once a month vacations I take. I would not have been able to afford my new car. I would not have been able to find the kind of people I wanted to befriend. I would not have been promoted from host to server in six months. I would not have been promoted from server to trainer, from trainer to regional trainer. I would not have had the ability to connect with my guests, obtain regulars & occasionally leave with a more than 20-25% tip.
See, I have to thank you for being all the things I never wanted to be in a co-worker. I noticed all the things about you I never wanted to be. Yes, I’ve had to work late nights, weekends and holidays due to your lack of work ethic. But without those sacrifices, I would not have all that I have gained not just from making more money but from learning how to build a good, professional relationship with co-workers and bosses.
You most importantly taught me that I am better than you and have so much more I can accomplish with my life than you can.
So, thank you “co-worker.”
Your successful “friend” & person you “work with”
P.S. In case you were wondering why I have quoted “co-worker” when referring to you, it’s because you’ve worn the façade of being my “co-worker” for too long. Co- is a prefix meaning together or equal. Worker is reference to a person who works. So calling you a “co-worker” would mean that we are two people who work together, and since we aren’t, I can’t very well call you a co-worker.